God gives and God takes for reasons I can’t even begin to fathom. There aren’t words for my heart right now. When I close my eyes I see hues of blue and red. They’re sad colors. And the rain… it’s sad rain for once. It usually sprinkles inspiration all over my skin, but now it makes me cry. It’s been a long time since I’ve cried. It’s also been awhile since I’ve had insomnia. Maybe I’ll walk again tonight. I’m not tired, but I am getting weaker.

But, God did tell me two things:

1. “Trust me.”

2. “Read Isaiah 40.”

If I were the rain, I’d fall from Heaven right into the ocean. I’d become one with the current drifting further and further into the horizon. Suddenly, a technicolor of light would shine through me—a mix of blue and red. In this moment I’d gain clarity. I’d climb out of my world and find my way up high into the gutter of a school and drip right into the palm of the one down in despair.

It’s raining, and I am the tears.


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