Dark smell of seaweed , crush of mud and light, what secret knowledge is clasped between your pillars?

“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”



Camp No Limits

I volunteered for a week at this camp in Idaho for kids with missing limbs. I packed my bags, plugged my Ipod into my truck and drove all the way down. It was quite therapeutic to have that time to myself just listening to music and watching the road fly by. That night was the first time I had ever stayed in a hotel by myself. It was eerie. I didn’t like it at all, and I had insomnia that night.

The camp itself was great. I didn’t think I was all that great with kids until coming to this camp. I’m glad to report that the majority of the kids loved me! I have some pretty good quotes from a handful of them. I think that some of the things that kids say are some of the most profound statements about life we ever get to hear. God is in everyone, even young people. It was pretty phenomenal to see how these kids had adapted to using their prosthetics. They were fully capable of doing just about anything. It was moving to see how much their parents cared for them. It broke my heart to hear some of their tragic stories and how their kids longed to be “normal.” I can relate, but I didn’t say that of course.

Also, God brought a man to this camp and specifically placed him in my cabin for a reason. We were the only cabin that wasn’t full. It was pretty funny. It was just me and him with extra beds and extra room. Somehow we started talking one night about God (I can never remember how this topic comes up in conversation). He doesn’t believe that the Bible is the word of God, but he does believe in prayer. He told me how he had seen prayer work in his life. He also told me about how much weed he smoked and how he nearly totaled his father’s car going 80 mph in the air. Apparently, he has lived quite an eventful life. We stayed up far too late talking about his life and God, but it was meant to be. It’s times like these that I feel the connection we all have to one another. Nobody is a stranger. God is in the spaces, and God was there between us. I think about him every now and again. He left before I could say good bye. I pray that his bone marrow transplant is successful. I believe that God has a plan to restore all of creation. I have faith that God will find him in his darkness. It may be in death that he finds life. But, whatever happens I’m just so thankful that our lives could cross paths and that God allowed me to bless him.

Once I got home I started to ponder my future. Honestly though, I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I sure do like people. I love blessing others. I really enjoy helping people. Who knows what God has in store for me. For now, I’ll just continue with my theology major at SPU. I love these theology classes.

Dreaming… Always Dreaming

If I had it my way, i’d meet Kermit and Yoda face to face. Both of them have had a real impact on me—the way they smile with their eyes and exhale truth out of love. I imagine we’d make a day out of it. We’d sit on a grass hill in the shape of a heart (or a triangle rather) and tell stories of times before. Like this one time, I believed in myself. And let me tell you, after doubting your capacity of significance for quite some time, suddenly having confidence in yourself is one of the most blissful feelings in the world, and God smiles too, which is always awesome. So, I put myself on and loved people as best as a little person can do. I always try to imagine a world emancipated from interested exchange, a place free from the extortion of surplus. Even if it is a little too naive or too utopian of me, I don’t see what is wrong with trying to imagine a world where we share everything with each other for free. Why not love others for free? Kermit? Yoda? Thoughts?

Back Again

My writing has been on hiatus for some time now. It seems life is more of a taste than a color these days. You can feel free to decode that and understand why I’ve been ignoring you lately.

There was an unidentified flying insect next to my pillow last night. I was about to tickle its wings and make it fly away from my comfort zone, when I decided I’d leave it alone. Insects have their rights, don’t they? I thought of all the times I had been kicked out of line where I most surely had a right to stand—a lectio divina of sorts. I opened my eyes, out of teleportation, to find my little friend gone without a trace, no note or nothin. She sure knows how to make me smile, though, playing hard to get, leaving me with scenes in my head that lead to dreams at night. It’s been a while, I thought, since I’ve done much of that.

There’s this thing I keep thinking of. I write about it in my little book that nobody sees, and it helps, but you know, life’s a taste. If the current days had a color, I’d have let you know of the hues of blues and reds and yellows and greens, but that’s not the case as I just said. Weren’t you listening? God, in the midst of a time where important decisions are my life and scary situations are all I see, give me sanity, give me truth, give me You. Amen.

(Nolan opens his eyes from prayer…)

Wow, if only you could see the color of the world right now from the angle I’m sitting, from the eyes I’m gazing through. I see the new light slanting through the old growth. God lives.