The New Testament doesn’t talk about Heaven that much. It talks more about what it means to be a disciple now. Years back on that young afternoon, the concept of eternal life seemed obvious to me. I understood that I was resurrected there and then to a new life, an eternal life, a life of meaning that could carry me to the sky and back even as my mortal body walked to school each morning.
Recently, as in the last few years, I’ve been so caught up in death that I’ve forgotten that eternal life is now. So many have died, me included, which partly began with my second dedication. That young afternoon in the forest was full of divine virtue, but I forgot the purpose of this rebirth that I clearly understood as a child. The whole notion of discipleship, about eternal life, and about Jesus is that life starts now. It’s seems simple, but I’ve been living a life of reflection, and a life of imagination, but I shouldn’t be that much of a dreamer. Dreamers are believers, but even the demons believe. We are called to act on behalf of our God. It’s all about wholeness. Life has less to do with the quantity of time and more to do with the quality of time. When I’m walking across the bridge and look up it’s become habit to ponder what the Kingdom of God is going to feel like, but God’s been whispering to me that it’s about the experience more than the appearance. I need to forget about what Heaven’s going to look like because it’s going to feel like something so much more.
Leaving my parents’ house has opened up so much to me. I’m relying on myself and getting nowhere, and it’s so beautiful. I know now that I need God. I find myself searching for passages in the Bible where Jesus is merely walking just so I can get my roots strengthened and my branches lengthened because I want to reach more people that seem so far away. I’ve come to the revelation that that I’ve been given the gift of life, and that perhaps the best way to honor this gift is to share my life with others. This forces me to analyze my personal nature of human relationship. My interaction with others needs to change from the current “I-it” relationality to an “I-thou” relationship that God desires with His children. I think sometimes we have to change how we habitually live our lives so that our will and our actions are appropriate. After all, Jesus is humanity as it’s meant to be, not our natural ways of living.
I find myself smiling at the little things like the future and the swaying of the damp trees overhead. And, as I’ve read the required readings for class, it’s become more and more apparent that these are little glimpses of Heaven on Earth. It’s no wonder I feel so great curled up in sky when I’m sitting on the grass hill looking out over the water. The Kingdom of God, or the “Kingdom of Heaven” as it is written in Matthew, is essentially when all things happen accordingly to the will of God and when we experience unmediated fellowship with God. We, as His people, get to experience little bits of Heaven now. But, let’s not forget that life is hell sometimes. There are nights when I stare at ceiling and swear insomnia is the worst curse of them all. But, I can’t kid myself for long because God sets the birds free to fly high in my place.
But, I’ll be young even with my last breath, and I don’t mind it all that much because it will keep me running unto the moment I learn to fly.