What You Were

Suddenly it seems like the whole world is calling your name, and you’re feeling so good you practically float on home. And when you go to bed that night, the last thing you see before you fall asleep are her eyes, and the last thing on your face is a smile.

Maybe you were wearing a new jacket that you had bought with your last paycheck. Or you had dreaded your hair over the summer. Or you broke your arm skateboarding with friends. Or got a girlfriend the first week of school. Or maybe you weren’t even a person. Maybe you were an small black and white drawing on the wall, or a neat and lovely-looking flower getting soaked by the rain at four o’clock in the dark grey of the afternoon. Whatever you were, whatever we were, we walked away smiling and maybe not saying but all thinking the same thing: it felt good to finally get some credit for who we were.

And, so, last night, I finally thanked her. In the dream she didn’t have a face, so she wasn’t saying anything, but as I recognized the silence, I wrapped my left arm around her, held her close, and gave her a face. Then, I woke embracing the sun in her place.

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